06/20/02:

 Ce-real time: Oh it's cereal time and what did wonderful mom buy for me this time? Fruity pebbles! i'm not too sure what the "fruity" part of it is, unless Fred is chasing Barney for some other reason. *wink* *wink* ,but despite looking like tie-dye dandruff flakes and having quasi-homosexual undertones, fruity pebbles gets a 7 on the cereal meter. Face it, it's the skittles of cereal the cereal world and endorsed by the flintstones, I don't think the young generation knows who the flitstones are, but having the notion that the same cromagnon man-inna-dress that's on my vitamins advertises my cereal conforts me, on the other hand. The toys are a whole different matter. What is this crap? This has nothing to do with the Flintstones, it's not even dinosaur themed, there are no bad dinosaur jokes or puns on the box, instead there are the Yankees. I'm not a Yankees fan, or a baseball fan for that matter ,but when you can recieve you very own plastic wobble headed figurine, don't that arouse you? Not me. At least other cereals used to come with 3-d glasses or some crap like that, what can you do with a 3 in plastic lump with a 1:2 head to body-size ratio? (approximately the same ratio as Song) And what are you supposed to do with the plastic tab on the back of the head? I guess it's possible to have a conversation with it and make it nod yes or no, but that's quite limited, rice krispies are better conversationalists. Even though the toy itself has limited use, I did enjoy the 15 minutes I spent trying to get the spring out without ripping off the head (an engineering impossibility) so buy your fruity pebbles today and you too can treasure a baseball player miniature with a severe neck problem.

ZING!: STEVE ATTACK

In which case it wouldn't be...: I like aesthetics and I like computers so it just makes sense to combine the two. This is where (harmless plug imminent!) http://www.customcases.tv/shopping/ comes in. They've got the coooooolest cases, all of them which blow my over-sized lunchbox out of the water. These are like sleek, sexy (oh yeah baby), monolithic gods. I make food offerings and burn incense to them before I go to sleep. Shiny, candy-like buttons grace the fronts while the sides have plexi-glass windows so you can see and feed the gremlims that run your computer-machine. But things like sun-roofs and glow sticks inside a computer shy in comparison to...computers that a shaped like animals. That's right, you can buy a case that resembles Fluffy or Spot, they're even labeled "Doggie" and "Kitty" incase you forgot which household pet you own. So go out and buy one, they're too damn cute to resist.